o.0

pagpasensyahan niyo na if this post may sound a little jinjiruky... just never had the strength to pour my heart out and let other people in my world... siguro hindi kayo sanay... ako din, hindi rin ako sanay na magsabi ng totoong nararamdaman ko... i just don't like the feeling na ako yung kino- comfort... i tried screaming for help before pero akala ng ibang tao nagbibiro lang ako...sabi emo daw ako...

tungkol saan ba 'to?

i miss my dad... i hate the fact that i miss him... i never grieved when he left... i just moved on... now it's taking a toll on me... it affected my relationship towards other people... sa mga taong kasama ko sa trabaho... sa mga taong na mi-meet ko sa work... i just wanted everybody to leave me alone... kahit yung relationship ko kay chocky, naapektuhan na... my heart is filled with anger... and i couldn't possibly love another human being.... wala ng paglalagyan... punuin mo man ng pagmamahal ang puso ko... tatapon lang yun... dahil puno na 'to ng galit... the sad part is that i am aware of all these things yet i don't wanna do anything about it...

whewww... this is hard... i have always put up a brave front... and i don't wanna sound weak pero i think i'm gonna lose it kung hindi ako unti unting mag o open up diba?

don't worry guys... i am okay... gusto ko lang mag unload... baka kasi sumabog one of these days weh... ayoko naman maging burden kahit kanino... at lalong ayaw na ayaw ko na hinahagod yung likod ko... i don't need sympathy... i just want a pat on the back saying... everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not yet the end... di ba patrick? ;)

may NAG TEXT...

nag txt sa akin si dianne the other day...

tets dumating na daw bill ng credit card natin php 10,648... feb 1 ang due...

ang reply ko...

hu u?

wahehe

nakaka highblood!!! ngaun namin inaani yung mga pinag gagagasta namin nung christmas wahaha

I am not okay right now but I will be okay and I will move on with my life, with or without you in it...

gud eve guys... here's my first post for 2010... lemme first greet you guys a Happy New Year!!!

i know i haven't been updating my blog... sobrang pagod sa work siguro... peak season kasi namin... pag restday ko naman ang gusto ko na lang eh... mag REST! (makes sense?)... well this is not like one of those restdays... first stop.... i planned on catching up on my sleep since para akong nilamog na ponkan last christmas season at ginagawa kong balikan ang malolos - olongapo... well guess what? hindi nangyari yun... instead... niyaya ako manood ng sine ng nanay ko (all expenses paid by moi- thank you very much) ang masaklap... mano po ang trip niya panoorin!!! and then sa kalagitnaan ng movie, nag txt ang kapatid ko na kailangan daw namin iluwas yung mga gamit na dadalhin ni mik sa batangas, dahil kailangan na niyang bumalik sa batangas on tuesday pero stuck siya somewhere in paranaque kasi tinatapos pa nila yung paperworks nila... mind you... hindi ito pakiusap... isa itong command na iluwas yung mga gamit niya... after the movie, inimpake na namin ang gamit ni mik at ang instruction ay iwan ito sa guard sa college of nursing... so nag meet up kami ni dianne sa SM North at ihahatid na namin yung gamit ni mik sa UP-Manila... isa itong malaking pagkakamali... ang driver namin ay si ambo... hindi ko alam kung saang driving school nag aral si ambo at kung sa australia siya natuto mag drive... parang laging may car race!!! nasa left lane siya palagi at yung mga nasa kabilang lane pa ang nahihiya at umiiwas sa kanya!!! walang pakialam sa stop light... we were literally praying for our lives sa backseat... i'm just so glad na ng maiwan na namin yung things ni mik at dri-nop na kami ni ambo sa mcdo sa quezon ave... nagyaya si dianne na mag meryenda sa mcdo... time check 11 pm... after that nagyaya pa si dianne na mag bar somewhere in timog yata yun... off the grill yung pangalan nung bar... had fun... nakauwi kami ni mamu at chocky ng bulacan mga 4 am na... i'm still sleepy kahit nagtulog lang ako maghapon ng tuesday... iniisip ko pa lang na may pasok na ulit bukas sa work parang nauumay na ko... that's all for now... try ko mag post ulit sa mga susunod na araw... bayiiiiii for now...

05.28.2010

i see you...

must see movie before 2009 ends... i'll say no more...

11.10.09

hindi pa rin kita bati! bleh!

"According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when we're dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable we can’t imagine it’s true. We become angry with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We beg. We plead. We offer everything we have, we offer our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we’ve done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance."