Tuesday, January 26, 2010

o.0

pagpasensyahan niyo na if this post may sound a little jinjiruky... just never had the strength to pour my heart out and let other people in my world... siguro hindi kayo sanay... ako din, hindi rin ako sanay na magsabi ng totoong nararamdaman ko... i just don't like the feeling na ako yung kino- comfort... i tried screaming for help before pero akala ng ibang tao nagbibiro lang ako...sabi emo daw ako...

tungkol saan ba 'to?

i miss my dad... i hate the fact that i miss him... i never grieved when he left... i just moved on... now it's taking a toll on me... it affected my relationship towards other people... sa mga taong kasama ko sa trabaho... sa mga taong na mi-meet ko sa work... i just wanted everybody to leave me alone... kahit yung relationship ko kay chocky, naapektuhan na... my heart is filled with anger... and i couldn't possibly love another human being.... wala ng paglalagyan... punuin mo man ng pagmamahal ang puso ko... tatapon lang yun... dahil puno na 'to ng galit... the sad part is that i am aware of all these things yet i don't wanna do anything about it...

whewww... this is hard... i have always put up a brave front... and i don't wanna sound weak pero i think i'm gonna lose it kung hindi ako unti unting mag o open up diba?

don't worry guys... i am okay... gusto ko lang mag unload... baka kasi sumabog one of these days weh... ayoko naman maging burden kahit kanino... at lalong ayaw na ayaw ko na hinahagod yung likod ko... i don't need sympathy... i just want a pat on the back saying... everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not yet the end... di ba patrick? ;)

2 comments:

mar-yan said...

Y'know we're always here for you .. in our own special way!

Anonymous said...

aja! just always pray.. GOD heals everything. :)