Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I've been psycho analyzing myself and i figured something out... i realized na masyado akong matiisin na tao...

5 years ako sa college... i have no choice... walang perang pampaaral ang mga magulang ko buti na lang at nag offer ang uncle ko na sasagutin ang pag-aaral ko... hindi na ko nag isip... walang ibang choice kundi sa BSU... para hindi masyadong mabigat... anong course? hindi ko alam... bahala na... kung anong matapatan ng ballpen... ECE... pwede na yan.... makatapos lang at makaalis na sa impyernong ito... limang taon... five miserable years... pero tiniis ko yun...

5 years sa company... crappy job with crappy crappy salary... pero hindi ako makaalis kasi iniisip ko mas maganda na 'to di ba? kesa wala...

9 years relationship... i've got major issues na alam kong kailangan ko munang i resolve sa sarili ko... pero i stayed kasi na fi feel ko na kailangan niya ako... kahit ako yung nalulunod at higit na nangangailangan ng tulong ako pa rin yung nagpapakatatag... pero what if ayaw ko na talaga? hindi ako matigas... hindi ko panghihinayangan itapon ang 9 year relationship kung alam kong wala ng patutunguan diba? hindi ko ipipilit... pero 9 years? what was i thinking? sobrang matiisin talaga ako...

i heard from someone na ang issue ay hindi ang pagiging matiisin kundi ang fear na umalis ka sa comfort zone mo... i stayed because i am comfortable sa aking "comfort zone" and i need to figure out a way para lumabas dun...

i didn't write this blog for y'all to judge me.... please just bear with me...

4 comments:

mar-yan said...

whoa! you're talking abt tim urban one sec and then pouring your heart out the next! watup? tho we feel quite the same thing around this time of our existence (quarter life crisis and all that pop psych crap) but of course we're not the one who has a 9year relationship and tons of emotional baggage (the heartless insensitive sod that i am) so of course we can hardly relate. you're a good person, and that's what matters. i think :)) if you're gunna ditch that comfort zone, book me a seat. we'll go flying high!

petski said...

i didn't know there's such a thing as quarter life crisis... wahehe

i'm still finding enough courage to go out of my comfort zone... life is about taking a risk or two diba?

don't worry i'm still up to no good as usual wahehe... means everything is perfectly fine... hehehe...

see you 'round guys

this post deserves a bananaman!!!

mar-yan said...

bananaman!!!

~ cHiNiTa ~ said...

You know what? I'm also thinking the same thing! Go out in your comfort zone and explore!!!!